"Lonely Werewolf Girl" by Martin Millar

"Millar's expansive tale of werewolves in the modern world - friendly werewolves, fashionista werewolves, troubled teenage werewolves, cross-dressing werewolves, were wolves of every sort - blends satire, black comedy, fantasy and is hard-edged, hilarious, believable and utterly unputdownable.

"As teenage werewolf Kalix MacRinnalch is pursued through the streets of London b murderous hunters, her sister, the Werewolf Enchantress, is busy designing cloths for the Fire Queen. Meanwhile, in the Scottish Highlands, the MacRinnalch Clan is plotting and feuding after the head of the clan suddenly dies intestate.

"As court intrigue threatens to explode in all-out civil war, the competing fractions determine that Kalix is the swing vote necessary to assume leadership of the clan. Unfortunately, Kalix isn't really into court politics - laudanum's more her thing. But what's even more unfortunate is that Kalix is the reason the head of the clan ended up dead, which is why she's now on the run in London...

"'Martin Millar writes like Kurt Vonnegut might have written, if he'd been born fifty years in a different country and hung around with entirely the wrong sort of people' - Neil Gaiman*"

Currently reading "Lonely Werewolf Girl" (I know, very emo), and I will simply say that if anyone out there enjoys a "well written" novel with "in-depth, thought-out characters" please DO NOT pick up this book.

For example (and I’ll try and write this as badly as the author):
Two humans, Moonglow and David are currently huddled in a corner of the office of Thrix (a werewolf fashion designer). With them, Malveria ("Fire Queens of the Hiyasta, Mistress of the Volcanoes, Protector of the Flame, Lady of the Inferno, Ruler of the Burning Element, Persecutor of Mankind, Conqueror of the Ice Dwarves, Destroyer of the Iron Giants…") hidden behind a sorcery spell.Now Thrix’s werewolf brothers enter the room. Tell their sister they can sense someone hiding in said corner. Than continue to talk about killing their other sister (family business).Previously stated Malveria decides to help werewolf fashion designer and leaves the protection of the sorcery spell. And, hey presto, the werewolf brothers refuse to discuss family business among non-family members. Who the fuck did they think was hiding in the corner?
I hope I’m not the only one with a headache…and if you think that is bad do not think that is the only inconsistency.

Now I’ve read crap…lots of crap, mostly found at the bottom of the bargain bin, but I don’t think I’ve read anything that feels like an idea for a novel in point form flushed out with a sentence here and there. Oh, we have a gap? Fill it in with useless information that you used just the page before. Can’t remember which character’s perspective your writing from, don’t bother checking, just pick one. Is your main character a teenager? Oh yes, wonderful, just make sure she has an eating disorder, drug problem, violence issues and a strong need to die, all while being described as amazingly beautiful in her excessively skinny state (so hot right now) and you have a book deal.

Who approves this shit? How the hell do I get a job like that (ooh, free books AND I get to be a bitch)? And he has won an award for a previous book!?! I wonder if standards are slipping or he is?

Well, I’ve started so I now have to finish, but I can't see the level of annoyance I'm feeling right now subsiding until I'm done.

I think this is the first time I have had a rant like this over a book…with the amount of crap I have read over the years, THAT’S how bad it is.

*Sounds like someone couldn't think of a nice thing to say.