Reading Porn

Before I explain the whole concept of readable porn I best explain how I came to be in the situation of reading porn in the first place.

Once upon a time, in a far away mind frame was a little depressed girl collecting little depressed fiction. Anything dark, miserable, disheartened was collected, read, cherished and placed in a ex-library bookcase to be re-read whenever and forever (see, little depressed girl has a terrible memory and can re-read the same book over and over again…also hates borrowing, needs to “own” the story in all sense of the word). Over the years the collection grew and grew. From an obsession with vampire mythology, came an obsession with vampire fiction (as no non-fiction works went into detail about vampire mythology unless it was bloody Dracula), than lycanthropes, witches and suddenly little depressed girl was a little depressed fantasy freak.

Now from time to time, usually when there was no worthy fantasy under the big SALE sign in the various bookstores, little depressed girl started delving into other forms of reading material. Suddenly science fiction (too technical for one of the memory challenged), biographies, regular fiction, history, mythology and so on, was added to the ex-library bookcase.

On a day like any other, now little semi self-aware girl (little depressed girl got some professional help) stood in front of her beloved ex-library bookcase, looking for some fluff to entice her imagination for a day or so (and to distract from intensive self analysis). Suddenly the realisation hit that the majority of the collection was nothing to laugh over and a trip was immediately undertaken to the claustrophobic second-hand bookstore hidden in an arcade in Penrith.

Now little semi self-aware girl had “romance” and “chick lit” in her collection (which took some time to except and in the beginning had tendencies of keeping covers hidden while reading on the train) and had a few laughs instead of tears.

Some might see how readable porn would come into this, but just in case I’ll continue.

After some time I came to the conclusion that I was missing some sex…in my reading material people…the missing sex in other parts of my life are for another blog, and probably only after a few, so nothing as such this month (still going strong, go little sober almost fully-aware girl). See, anyone who reads fantasy would know that it usually contains a fair bit of sex (and not usually the “natural” kind…a friend and I used to joke the Anita Blake series was turning into porn but Laurell K. Hamilton seems to have satisfied whatever needed satisfying and is back on track…we await the next instalment with bated breath). Now all this romance and chick lit fluff does not seem to commonly delve into the sex lives of their love crazed characters and, as such, resembles a PG movie where there’s a big kiss, some metaphors and two happy, satisfied people lying in bed together (not necessarily naked). So on the next trip to the bookstore (this one Basement Books by Railway Square in Sydney, where, for $50.00, you can break your back carrying books home) I decided to try and get some “hot and steamy” chick lit…I still have small twinges of sham at all this, must remember “chick lit is not a lower form of reading material, chick lit is not a lower form of reading material, chick lit is not…” Well, I got exactly what I was looking for, and more some.

Porn, as best as I can describe it, has a thin, predictable strip of a story line containing multiple characters that have multiple sex in multiple positions, which result in multiple orgasms. These books, it’s like I’m reading a bloody screenplay (if porn had screenplays) with added scene descriptions! I found it quite amusing that the whole “yeah, give it to me baby” and such said during sex turns my stomach, both when watching porn and when reading it (and having it, but, once again, for another blog). I don’t get that at all but I do love how imaginative they get with describing genitalia. Plus I love how these books (which seem to be part of a collection, I realised later) all have “Remember, in real life, always practise safe” before the story (I use the term loosely) begins.

How did it come to this? Isn’t there fluff out there with a story line with strong and detailed characters that get it on in a way that enhances said story without becoming it (such like a relationship based on sex…fun but without meaning)? And not a story line that has something to do with war, death, disease and a good old “end of the world as we know it”. Aren’t there happier conflicts and situations that characters can overcome?

Well, even with the tears of frustration (with the writing people) in my eyes, I’m still laughing, so it can’t all be bad.

***After inflicting you with a summary of my reading history, the whole “readable porn” section of this blog was quite anti-climatic…HA!!! Hey, if you can make one person laugh…***